Letting Go: The Art of Non-Grasping
On the eight-limbed path of yoga, the first limb consists of the yamas, or moral obligations, of the practitioner. One of these obligations is aparigraha, or non-grasping. Aparigraha is sometimes also described as non-attachment, non-coveting, or non-hoarding. But in essence, this yama is about not holding onto what doesn’t belong to us or what doesn’t serve us.
How do we know what belongs to us? The translation “non-grasping” gives a good mental image of what holding onto material that doesn’t belong to us looks like. Whether it’s things, people, situations, or anything else, when we hold onto or try to hold onto something that is not meant for us or that is no longer meant for us, it looks like grasping. The behavior exhibits desperation, stinginess, stubbornness. At its core, aparigraha is the opposite of love, of trust, of flow. Hence, why it is one of the moral obligations of the yogi. A person cannot grasp and be at one with the Universe.
Grasping is messy, battered, entangled, embroiled, embittered. These are clear signs that something is not ours. The Universe is love. Love involves grace, dignity, surrender, flow. Whatever is not of these things does not serve us, and it does not belong to us.
Does this mean we will never have challenges to overcome to attract or maintain what is ours? No. It means that we will not have to compromise ourselves nor our integrity for the things and people meant for us. We will not have to engage in unloving or faithless behavior to attain desired outcomes or situations. Sometimes it is as simple as not living in a state of anxiety. That does not mean we don’t have to put in effort to attain our goals or maintain relationships. It means we don’t clutch onto things with a sense of possessiveness, obsession, or refusal to allow ease.
Consider a kaleidoscope. The picture is always shifting, always changing. If we try to latch onto one arrangement, the picture becomes stuck. Similarly, the flow of life, energy, prana becomes stuck when we don’t allow movement, when we become rigid in the things we want, when we resist the Universe in the service of our ego and our will. Aparigraha can look like not accepting change, not accepting situations, wanting people to be who we want instead of who they are, wanting a relationship to meet our expectations. It can also look like holding onto material objects, phases of life, or phases of relationships. Or it can also look like refusing to shift our beliefs, carrying the expectations of others, holding onto ideologies that were never ours (in the name of grasping at approval). When we fail to observe aparigraha in our lives, suffering is inevitable. While we are allowed to feel sadness or grief or any other emotion that may arise with the changing tides of life or upsets we may experience, when we try to hold onto things past their time or outside of their place, including emotions that arise, we block the flow of energy in our lives. Blockages of energy lead to more discomfort and more disturbance in the long run than the original shift we resisted. In the words of author Haruki Murakami, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”
So how do we move through life without grasping? We practice its opposite: letting go. We trust that what is ours will come to us. We live in our integrity. It is doing the work and leaving the outcome to Itself. We have faith in and surrender to the Universe.
To assist us in this process, we consciously cultivate practices to learn this art. The second limb of yoga, the niyamas, provides us with day‑to‑day practices to help us with discipline, self-care, and self-mastery. Asana, or the physical yoga poses, allows us to move stuck energy and teaches us how to surrender in the midst of discomfort as well as to trust that discomfort is temporary. Pranayama, or breathwork, helps us to regulate our nervous system. Pratyahara and dharana are meditative practices to provide mental growth and emotional resilience. All of these practices allow us to develop the fruits of yoga, the remaining three limbs, including samadhi, or spiritual bliss, where oneness or unity with the divine is achieved.
Let this blog post be your shortcut.
Yoga poses that focus on the root, sacral, and third eye chakras will aid in letting go. The root chakra is related to our sense of security, and fears leading to grasping behavior tend to be associated with feelings of lack around security. The sacral chakra is correlated with the element of water and a sense of flow. It is also the pleasure center of the chakra system, and a lack of joy can feed into resisting the flow of life. The third eye chakra represents our intuition and our ability to see past the physical realm into the spiritual, which gives clarity and balance. Various poses to support each of these chakras are included below.
In addition to yoga poses, we can engage in self-study through journaling, as well as undertake a regular meditation practice. Breathwork to balance the nervous system can also aid in emotional regulation, so that we are able to process material as it arises. A simple balancing technique is included below.
Lastly, we can enlist the aid of a mantra. Mantras help give direction to our energy and our focus. They reinforce our intention in our minds and allow the intention to be processed in and carried out by our body (the repetition of intention in the mind sends signals throughout the physical body to direct its activities on its path, including through the release of hormones to the cells as well as through nervous system signals). A common mantra to aid in letting go is: I release all that no longer serves me. Additional mantra choices are listed below, or I invite you to create your own.
May you allow trust to create peace, and may you let go of everything that is not yours to carry.
Namaste.
Mantras for letting go:
I release all that is not mine in this moment.
What is meant for me will come to me.
I honor my truth.
I surrender to the flow of the Universe.
I trust the divine Creator.
Trust creates peace.
Praanayama (Breathwork):
4:4 Balanced Breathing technique – inhale for a count of four, exhale for a count of four; repeat 10 rounds (can shorten to 5 rounds for a quick fix). Breath should be through the nose, if possible, for both inhales and exhales.
Root Chakra Yoga Poses:
Mountain Pose
Standing Forward Fold
Sukhasana (Easy Seat)
Child’s Pose
Malasana (Garland Pose)
Chair Pose
Anjaneyasana (Low Lunge)
Warrior II
Five-Pointed Star
Crocodile Pose
Sacral Chakra Yoga Poses:
Bound Angle Pose (Butterfly)
Seated Forward Fold
Crescent Pose (High Lunge)
Goddess Pose
Wide-Legged Forward Fold
Half Splits
Lizard Pose
Hero Pose (with a block) – incorporate Ujjayi Breath
Cat/Cow (with hip circles)
Frog Pose
Third Eye Chakra Yoga Poses:
Thunderbolt Pose
Child’s Pose (with forehead resting on mat or block)
Downward Facing Dog
Seated Forward Fold with clasped hands (Bowing Yoga Mudra)
Legs Up the Wall
Puppy Pose
Tree Pose
Garudasana (Eagle Pose)
Humble Warrior
Dolphin Pose
Renea Breashears (she/her)
